Most of us are driven by the desire to be better than others. From childhood, we were taught to compete. We learned early that being on top was best. “You are better than so-and-so” became the mantra that shaped our young hearts. Over time, that mantra formed our values. It became the hidden engine that drove our lives.
To some extent, it even shapes our spiritual lives to this day. We may never say it aloud, but it exists within us: spiritually, I am better than others. We measure ourselves against our neighbors. We rank ourselves morally, spiritually, socially. We live as though life were a perpetual competition.
I believe this assumption lay behind the Pharisee’s prayer in the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector (Luke 18:9–14). “I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all I get. I am not like that tax collector.” We are quick to condemn the Pharisee for his arrogance. But if we are honest, who among us has not done the same? Who among us does not compare ourselves to those we consider less moral, less disciplined, or less faithful? Surely, we tell ourselves, we are better than them.
But true spirituality invites us onto a different path. It calls us to empty ourselves to divine fellowship. It summons us to humility—the deep awareness that life is not a contest to be won but a gift to be shared. We were not created for competition; we were created for communion in the realm of the divine.
God did not fashion us as rivals, but as members of one body. We are meant to live in community, as one great family. Each one of us has a sacred role to play. Each one of us carries a gift the other needs. Without the other, we are incomplete.
This realization gives birth to ubuntu in our relationships—the truth that “I am because we are.” I can only fully exist if we exist together. Your dignity shapes mine. Your flourishing strengthens mine. We are not isolated individuals striving for superiority; we are a living web of grace, held together by God.
To some extent, this is the basis of righteousness as well as holiness: not proving that we are better, but confessing that we belong—to God and to one another. We exist for communion with God and another–this is what holy life is all about.
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From the E-Crier of February 12, 2026. Subscribe to the weekly newsletter.